What is it about Irish boys that have me so enthralled? Is it their good humor, sarcasm, or merely a nice accent that does it? This past February I spent one week alone in Ireland. In Dublin I went to a bar called The Dame which was an old time, traditional pub across from the touristy Stag's Head. There I met a man nicknamed Crazy who told me that the Celtic Tiger did not help the blue collar people. He also reminded me how sensitive the male ego really is after blowing up on me when I wished to go chat with younger, more handsome boys. I guess Crazy was not merely a nickname eh? Anyway, looking back I see that he was desperately trying to hold and defend his manhood by putting me in my place. Another fellow at The Dame gave me a very serious interrogation asking me question after question on Irish history. The funny thing was he would never actually give me a moment to answer his pop quiz. He would jump down my throat with answers before I had a chance. I am glad I could give him the opportunity to demonstrate his knowledge in front of his peers. Something was making these men angry and resentful but I could not place it. The anger could be linked to feelings of unimportance in the wake of economic turmoil. It could stem from a deeply rooted unease from a lack of land control to foreign powers. I would presume that the male ego, alcohol, and Catholicism all play their parts in the making of an Irish man. It appears to me that religious/political oppression leads to repression as a means of coping with that loss of control. In turn that repression of angst surfaces like a volcano with a little help from booze.
When I am around lots of guys my humor generally lends itself to crudeness. Therefore, on a couple of occasions chatting with Irish fellows I made a vulgar joke or comment that would have been perfectly acceptable in the States (in the right context). I noticed they were not gathering much of a response. Am I just not as funny as I thought? I knew this could NOT be the case, so I went in search for an explanation to my discomfort. Hence, I asked a young Irishmen with whom I had been chatting if sex was a taboo topic in Ireland. He responded with an assuring "Absolutely!" In fact he went on to explain that he and his buddies do not exchange sexual details about their escapades. However, last week in Brussels I met a team of Irishmen called the Rebels here for an American football tournament. We sang karaoke, danced to cheesy music, and bantered on until morning about such topics as body hair, relationships, and music. With them I was completely able to be myself and joke in any way I saw fit. I felt accepted as 'one of them'. Perhaps our encounter might have been different had it been on Irish soil. Did they check their guilt at the Dublin Airport exit? A young team member of the Rebels told me that there are many mixed signals sent to young Irishmen by their parents. For example he said that boys are encouraged to score with girls by treating a scenario where a girl sleeps over in a casual manner. He said the mother may even cook them up some breakfast and pay for a cab. However, if a girl were to have a guy spend the night, "Off with his head!" The acceptance of sexually active young men and not of women is very similar to the States. The main differences that remain are legal freedoms and open discussion.
In the States sex is an unavoidable subject that is practically shoved in our faces. Our conversations are riddled with it, our stars make videos of it, and our children are having it much too young. We are completely desensitized to the ins and outs (no pun intended) of sexual activity. The line between inappropriate and appropriate comments can be blurry. American news brings us stories of high school girls making pacts to become teen moms, treating babies as if they were the latest Pokemons. Recent data shows that teen pregnancy is on the rise for the first time in fifteen years. Men pat one another on their backs if they 'get some'. It is assumed that there is something wrong with those who do not play our oh-so-fun and harmless games. Compare this mentality to that of an environment in which sex is shrugged beneath the rug due to a sense of guilt, not pride. Walking through the streets of both Dublin and Galway I saw no public displays of affection. However, in the evenings nobody seemed shy about it.
"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all" (I John 1:5).
Might God be better able to look down upon us and watch our sins unfold in the light of day?
Upon independence of the Republic of Ireland government was formed based upon Catholic moral guidelines. Systemic differences in American and Irish government may hold the answers to some of the differing views on sexuality. Due to the illegality of abortions in Ireland, an increasing number of teenage girls travel to the UK to have abortions, reaching over 10,000 per year. Therefore, teen fertility rates are inconclusive and difficult to find. Another endemic result of the government foundations is the difficulty in prosecuting clergy criminals. Lawyers representing victims who have been raped by men of the cloth seem to be earning little in consolations. There have been recent (May 20, 2009) BBC reports of rape and abuse of thousands in Catholic institutions from the past few decades with little punishment to those who turned a blind eye to the horrors inflicted on young, vulnerable boys. Education, sexual and otherwise, is predominately Catholic with over 90% (Associated Content, 2009) of Irish children attending denominational schools. Interestingly, the more educated Irish from higher social classes tend to take a liberal stance on sex out of wedlock according to the Crisis Pregnancy Agency (CPA). Ironically, the CPA is run by the Church and therefore is unable to provide any information on contraceptives or abortion to inquiring females. However, one should not look at religion in isolation of other influencing factors.
A full analysis of Irish nationalism, religion, and appetite can be found in a book entitled The Things They Say Behind Your Back, by William B. Helmreich. In which he speaks of differing explanations to the Irish mentality and behaviors. Overbearing mothers, emasculation from a lack of land control, and Jannsenism based Catholicism, which viewed sex as a sinful deed, have been linked to the Irish male's sexual repression. Sex tends to go hand in hand with feelings of guilt and shame. The great famine of the 1840s created a bachelor society stemming from the inability to provide for a family. As a result Irish in large numbers immigrated to America and Australia perpetuating the stereotype of the "Irish Drunkards" and "Fighting Irish" due to the formation gangs and propensity to drink in order to create a sense of control over their destinies.
As a young American I went to Ireland with a preconceived notion of the drunken Irishmen. Raised by my great grandmother, she filled my head with foul memories of her abusive, alcoholic, Irish father. She warned me of Irish boys based on her experiences growing up in Worcester, MA. Naturally I wanted to find out what made them so misbehaved and to partake in some of the scandals myself. What can I say? Maybe it is my love of Irish music or my Irish roots. It could be their wit or informal ways. I think their most endearing qualities may well be those that at times lead them to destructive behaviors. It is their wild hearts, vindictiveness, and outlandish behavior that intrigue me so.
Maybe I had judged too harshly after my first visit to Ireland. The Rebels did not seem quite so frustrated though I met them out off their home court. When travelling, often I feel that new rules suddenly apply. However, when I told a couple guys from the group my thoughts on their fellow countrymen, they agreed there was a definite sense of inherent guilt. One of the young men told me that it tends to be easier for Irish guys to chat up American girls, because Irish women will have none of it. On one occasion in Galway I was baffled by the cold shoulders I received the morning after I had been out for the two nights preceding with a group of Irish guys. I was seen as a reminder of all that debauchery. In the case of the Rebels I hope that our evening together left them with happy memories as it has for me. I hope to see some of them in Dublin and we shall find out if the dynamic changes along with the environment.
These are merely observations supported by casual conversations with a few facts and figures. There are exceptions to every rule and I believe I met a few of the outliers in the Rebels, an appropriate name. However, when the woman you are taught to revere above all others is Mother Mary, an Irishmen might unintentionally demonize the fun American girl he meets in the pub. Let us remember that Ireland is a bit behind in the liberalization of its views. Homosexuality was illegal in Ireland up until 1993. In the early part of the 20th century you could not even put on a dance without a license to do so and giving a lot of information to the government. Up until the 1970s books containing references to birth control, sex, violence, and cursing were banned in the Republic of Ireland. Nowadays the Irish have comedians like David McSavage who go joke about masturbation on late night talk shows. The times, they are a changing.
